It is the hipster-inspired coiffure earning widespread ridicule: the man bun. Football is no exception to it's sleeve-tattooed clutches, Joe Allen the latest star to display one, perched unsubtly atop his bonce like furry golf ball. 

Mockingly referred to as either 'the Welsh Pirlo', or 'Welsh Xavi' depending on which part of the continent you're from, the last thing Allen needed was a headband tussling up the top fifth of his rapidly-expanding bouffant to distract from his play, which has actually been pretty good lately. 

There's nothing good about the 'bro knot', as these other examples indicate. 

Harry Kewell

Aside from providing proof Harry Kewell actually played for Liverpool, this version of the 'stallion tail' actually looks like the side of a tube of toothpaste that's burst in two places. Like, we get that long hair needs to be tied back to avoid getting into the eyes, but what's with the double harbour bridge look the Socceroos legend is modelling here? We just wish we could say it was the first and last time this look was allowed onto a pitch. We can't.

Jon McKain

That brings us to Jon McKain, who channelled Kewell in every way but playing ability, when he trotted out for Adelaide United with an equally baffling 'burst toothpaste tube' hairdo. Our image shows McKain remonstrating with referee Allan Milliner in 2013, although the real train wreck is unfolding a few inches higher and the form of two tightly-held mini-buns. 

Andy Carroll

Then Andy Caroll did this. Braids meet bro knots in a bonce far less effective than the route one aerial threat that has made the West Ham attacker one of the most dangerous, if polarising, strikers in the Premier League. is it just us of does this hairdo make him look like one of the dragons from Game of Thrones?

Joey Barton

Of course walking headline Joey Barton has trotted out with one. Thankfully it lasted about as long as one of his recent club stints. In this image the then-QPR captain 'buns up', despite also wearing a headband. Strange stuff.

Philippe Mexes

Name a hair style and chances are good it's found itself perched atop the cranium of the AC Milan defender at some stage. From short back and sides to the fullet, Mexes has sported them all. In keeping with the hipster look, the Frenchman has resorted to balling up the upper third and tightly packing it back down. Attackers beware. 

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

It would be a bold defender that yanked on the bun of PSG nutter Zlatan, Robert Huth-style. Suffice to say the Swedish behemoth isn't immune to a spot on our list. 

Giovanni Simeone

We can only surmise that Giovanni Simeone, son of Diego, lost a bet when he emerged onto the pitch with this Samurai effort that went viral quicker than a mosquito-borne disease. We can't imagine his old man would have been too happy about it. Thankfully it didn't last too long, with Simeone jr, a handy player in his own right, resorting to a more traditional coif not long afterwards.  

Taribo West

Here's a sentence we never thought we'd type. If Nigerian Taribo West's twin man bun clusters weren't so awesome, they'd be the worst of the lot. Here's some, albeit grainy, footage of West's hair in all its glory at the 1998 FIFA World Cup.